Losing My Inhibitions

10 April 2021

         It has been 9 days since my butterfly left me. Under the cover of the pre-dawn darkness and the timid light of dawn, I ventured out of the house for a slow 1.5km walk around our residential area. Derrick, who is accustomed to super brisk long strides, bowed to my pace to accompany me. After that, I returned home to rest while he went on for another 5km. Yayyy! I have taken baby steps to return to my exercise regime.

"Soon we shall bound like them, shall we, darling?"

         Encouraged by Swee Lian, a strong and courageous lady, I later braved myself to shake off my self-consciousness and join Derrick in having breakfast outside, rather than having the poor man buy it home for me. I did consider draping a scarf over my scar but hey, I can't be hiding beneath a piece of cloth forever. Now that I didn't have the feeble early morning light to take cover in, I tested the waters. True enough, nobody stared at my imperfection.

First outing with my scar

        Although Derrick was eager for me to join him in meeting up with Ah Kin for lunch, I declined. It wasn't my inhibition that was stopping me. I just needed the rest, for both my body and voice. You can't meet up with an old friend and stay silent, can you? However, Derrick later returned with a surprise for me - apple crumble with cinnamon ice cream (Ah Kin's treat). Mmm...I certainly enjoyed that sublime dessert very much!

"That's apple crumble in the foil cup, not loh mai gai! And that's a strawberry mango jam, not chilli sauce!"

        There was another surprise in store for me later in the evening. My dear friends, Lee and Clare (Lee's wife), dropped by with fruits. I was unable to invite them in because by then, Derrick was worn out and was having a nap before exercising and cooking dinner. It was indeed thoughtful of them as I know both of them had to tear themselves away from the computer. They are in the process of frantically trying to complete the marking of the SPM Chinese Language papers, an arduous task exacerbated by the entirely new online system that keeps delaying the sending of the exam papers. And somehow, it was not intimidating to show my dear friends my scar.

        For today, and all the loving people in my life, I am truly grateful. Gone is my butterfly but I am still truly blessed.